How the Sakurazukamori Stole Christmas
by Sakura414
Summary: "Seishiro got a wonderful, awful idea."  The Sakurazukamori has been putting up with the Seals' noisy Christmas celebration for 32 years, and he finally decides to stop the holiday from coming.  Based on "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" by Dr. Seuss.


I own NOTHING! Seishiro, Subaru, X/1999 and all things associated, and especially this poem are ALL property of their respective owners! All credit goes to CLAMP and Dr. Seuss (mostly Dr. Seuss)!

All the Dragons of Heaven liked Christmas a lot;

But the Sakurazukamori, who was a Dragon of Earth, did not.

Seishiro hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season!

Now please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be that his clan operated at night,

It could be his emotions just weren't quite right.

But I think the most likely reason of all

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, his heart or what he feels,

He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the Seals.

Staring down from the tower with an assassin-like frown,

at the Clamp Campus, which resembled a quaint little town.

For he knew every Seal in the mansion beneath

Was busy decorating with a tree and a wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer,

"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, his blood-stained fingers nervously drumming.

"I must find some way to stop Christmas from coming!

For tomorrow, I know all the Seal girls and boys

Will wake bright and early! They'll rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise, noise, noise, noise!

There's one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise, noise!

And they'll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing 'round on their wheels!

They'll dance with each other, all seven Seals!

Then the Seals, young and old, will sit down to a feast.

And they'll feats! And they'll feast! And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!

They'll feast on takoyaki, miso soup, and roast beast!

Raw roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least!

And then they'll do something I hate most of all!

Every Seal in that mansion, the tall and the small,

They'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing!

They'll stand hand in hand, and those Seals will start singing!

And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'll sing, sing, sing, sing!"

And the more Seishiro thought of this Seal Christmas Sing,

The more Seishiro though,"I must stop this whole thing!

Why, for thirty-two years, I've put up with it now!

I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

Seishiro got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" Seishiro laughed in his throat.

"I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat!"

So he went to where his tailor, Hokuto, stayed,

And in less than an hour, she had his suit made.

And he chuckled and chuckled,"What a wonderful trick!

With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer," The assassin looked around.

But since reindeer are scarce, there were none to be found.

But did that stop Seishiro? Hah! The Sakurazukamori said,

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he took Nataku, and he took some red thread.

And he tied a big horn to the top of its head.

Then he loaded some bags and sacks onto his sleigh,

He whistled for Nataku, and they were on their way.

Then he said "Giddyap!" and the sleigh started down

Toward the mansion where the Seals lay asleep in their town.

All the windows were dark. No one knew he was there.

All the Seals were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.

He paused at the door, but he didn't stop there!

"I made it, Nataku!" Seishiro hissed,

as he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney, a tight fit, but even so,

If Santa could do it, then so could Seishiro.

He got stuck only once, for a minute or two.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

Where the little Seal stockings hung all in a row.

"These stockings," he said,"Are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Seals' feast!

He took the miso soup! He took the roast beast!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

"Now," Seishiro grinned,"I will stuff up the tree!"

As Seishiro carefully shoved up the tree,

he heard a faint coo, like a shikigami.

He turned around fast, and what did he see?

Little Subaru-kun, who was just twenty-three.

He stared at the man and said,"Santy Claus, why?

Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

But that Seishiro was so smart and so slick,

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little uke," the fake Santa Claus lied,

"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side!

So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.

I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the uke. Then he patted his head,

And he got him a drink, and he sent him to bed.

And when Subaru-kun was in bed with his cup,

he crept to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then he went up to the chimney himself, the old liar,

And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.

On their walls, he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

It was quarter of dawn. All the Seals still in bed.

All the Seals still a-snooze, when he packed up his sled.

1091 feet up the tower,

He started to dump the sleigh with all of his power.

Then he grinned in a sickening, assassin-like way,

And he chuckled and laughed and he started to say,

"The Seals are waking up! I know just what they'll do!

Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,

Then the Seals in that mansion will all cry boo-hoo!

That's a noise," said Seishiro,"That I simply must hear!"

He paused, and he put a hand up to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started out low, and it started to grow.

But this sound wasn't sad!

Why, this sound sounded glad!

Every Seal in the mansion, the tall and the small,

Was singing without any presents at all!

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Sakura assassin, with his feet in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

Then he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.

Then Seishiro thought of something he hadn't before.

"Maybe Christmas," he thought,"Doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!"

And what happened then? In the mansion, they say

That the Sakurazukamori's heart grew three sizes that day!

And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,

And Seishiro found the strength of ten assassins, plus two!

He rode down to the campus. He brought back the toys.

He brought back the gifts to the Seal girls and boys.

He brought everything back, all the food for the feast!

And he, the Sakurazukamori, carved the roast beast!

The end!

A/N:

Happy holidays, everyone! This story is directly based off of Dr. Seuss's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", but with a few alterations. This is my first Christmas fic of the 2010 Christmas fanfiction season! I hope you enjoyed it! A few side notes: I used Nataku as Max simply because he's the most dog-like character in the series in terms of his personality, adorableness, and tendency to put his head in Fuuma's lap. This was written both for the holiday fanfiction season as well as Sakurazukamori Awareness Month, which is in November. I sort of wanted to have it up all holiday season long, so I figured that the very end of November would be a good time to post it! Thanks again for reading, and reviewers get free cookies!

Until next time,

~Sakura~


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